A Commissioner Commentary,

Where have all the SOBS gone??  Whatever happened to this grand group of malcontents, looking, hoping, striving to be the biggest pain in the asses ever to play golf at Polo.  Could it be the club's new logo?  Perhaps, old age creeping in?

What happened to the days of Blackard MIA in his own home.  Idecker getting lost driving home.  Richards playing an emergency nine.  Why is the bar only seen on Saturdays by the likes of Upchurch, Elletson, Olson, Van Horn and an occasional Miller.  Have we stooped so low, that only this commissioner is getting cut off at bars now!  Geez, at least Van Horn is good for a midnight call or two.  If only I could understand what he is saying.

What happened to the days when a SOB would win his flight, his match, a tournament.  Anyone see the results of the Senior Championship???  Not only were the SOBS "O" for every flight, but the Posses beat us.  Embarrassing to say the least.  Antle, Lins, Macy and Mullins have some explaining to do.

And how about some new blood.  Hell, if Upchurch had been hammered at least two more times in his life, then shoot, we wouldn't even have Kyle or Travis to kick around.  Are we going to have to institute a referral fee?

Where have all the SOBS gone?? 

It is not too late to salvage 2007.  Work on getting your handicaps up.  Prepare for the Krapper Kup.  Get an attitude.  Realize daylight is burning and you are on borrowed time.  Relax and enjoy 15 cold toddies after the round.  Gosh, the last time I checked, taxis will run to North Fulton.  Bring another SOB to play, even if they are English.  Become an SOB again.

Finally, don't be afraid to show some SOB pride.  Make fun of your foursome.  Pee on Jackson's pine tree.  Confuse Corky with sign language.  Buy Butch a drink.  Fix your ball mark, especially if it is on a Posse's forehead.  Share your ED medicine.  Remember, "yes dear", is the answer a hunter gives when asked what if he saw anything from his tree stand this morning.

C'mon guys, let's get our MOJO back and kick some BUTT!!  

 
(This commentary does not reflect the opinion of some of the SOB's.  But who gives a shit.)

 

 

June 16, 2007 Cumming Ga.

STUNNER AT THE OPEN CONTAINER!!  GUEST WINS TITLE!!
Blackard, Miller Tie For Second On Difficult Polo Course.

Jerry who?  Playing on a past champions invitation, Jerry Mills took the
Mayor's gift to heart and brought home the close victory.  Mills, who was
last seen "going to the locker room" after an official beverage request by
said commissioner, left the stunned bar area promising to return with a
valid handicap next week.  Meanwhile, an intoxicated SOB, claimed to see Mr.
Mills hand over part of his winnings to a departing Mr. Antle in the Polo
parking lot.  Conspiracy?  You make the call.

North Fulton's fourth finest, Scott Blackard and Taser Tom Miller tied for
second, one stroke behind the winner.  Blackard, sporting his new UGA polo
shirt, also left the premises in record time.  Something about an ankle
bracelet buzzing.  Taser Tom was seen celebrating his recent acquittal in
Jacksonville, by drinking. (Again & Again)  Tom will be in New York next
week playing golf and entertaining clients.  Hope he carries his lawyers
business card with him this time.

And hey, how about that threesome of Tim, Alan and Ted!  The one group that
should have been drinking, but for some reason weren't.  Yep, the group of
Yankee, Yankit and for God's sake Yanksomething, were a "joy" to follow
Saturday.

The biggest winner, however, appears to be Jim Naegle, who took two weeks
off and kept his lead for the trophy.  Jim, actually came by at the end of
the round sporting his new look, Michelin Man in spandex.  Watch out for
this SOB down the stretch.

Unfortunately, this major missed four of its big guns.  Steve Upchurch,
Corky Mullins, Dave Van Horn and Wayne Richards.  Wedding, baby shower,
hangover and appendicitis.  Only Dave Van Horns' hangover was an acceptable
SOB excuse.

See you in two weeks.
 

 

 

March 31, 2007  Cumming Ga.

 

Run the clock out and hold the Ball proves to be the formula to win!

 

The fifth event on the Sob 2007 Tour was played in perfect conditions and with a deliberate pace matched only by an IRS refund check. 

The political Icon  his honor the Mayor of Polo Fields Tom Antle edged out Butch Elletson in a putt off that finished as darkness covered the famed links of the Polo Golf and Country Club ( because it took him five hours to play his round to start).  His honor posted a net 64 and once again shot below his age.  

 Butch Elletson had the win in his pocket going into the last hole but managed to awaken the deamons that travel within his game and pull a snowman out of his pocket an throw it on his card. Image what this could mean down the road in the chase for the Championship if Butch is in the top four at season end.  

Mr. Steve Eades scored very well and took third place with a three under score for his round.  He was interviewed and felt the top spot was his but that the four corner stall of the leader took him off his game and twice interuppted his nap.

Highlights of today’s none leaders were so noted by this reporter in this order of importance:

Jim Naegele posted three birdies and one close up.

Ted Macy edged out Corky mullins for the Dead Ass Last award, nice 100 plus for both players.

John Olson returned  from Texas without having to serve out the sentence remaining on his probation.

 

Cumming Ga. March 24, 2007

Elletson and Litzinger Gross it for net 64!

The Sob Tour first team competition of the year was played upon the dry and windy marsh of the Polo Fields this morning. The event a best ball two man team contest proved that irony and justice sometimes travel together.  The blind draw event provided some very entertaining holes and proved that superior numbers do not always prevail in golf.  Scores ranged over a gap of eleven strokes from worst to first with the team of Miller and Lins placing in tenth place and Miller and Ideker edging them out for ninth place. This proved that none of these low handicappers can play to the numbers early in the year.  The top of the leader board at the end of the day proved that the winter lay off has little effect on handicaps that exceed twenty five.  The heavily stroked team of Litzinger and Elletson carrying over fifty said excuses posted a low round net 64 to edge out the team of Richards, S. Upchurch, Richards, and Richards by a stroke. Third place with net 66 was the deliberate team of Eades and Stepanek.  Fourth place was the team of passed Champion Scott Blackard and,  Sh_t Head Ted Macy the newest member of the Macy clan.