2003weeklynotes

Little Ricky McCartney used his patented swing in posting a net 67 upon the
soggy turf of Water Polo & country club. Supported by one foot the left brained
SoB raced around the track with nine holes of par golf on the front nine, and
then a sleeping beauty round upon the back nine as Ricky awoke to the pressure.
The rounds were highlighted by two birdies and two close-ups. No interview was
granted to the press in the nineteenth hole as an emergency nine broke out
drawing the winner to continue his play on the money of three foolish SoB's
trying to break the hot streak. This victory is the third straight week the
Tours youngest SoB has been in the top three, and shows once again the type of
game being retired offers to Tour members.

Second place money was scored by Tour Champion Dizzy Upchurch with a 69. This
too was his third week in the money raising his earnings for the year to the
number four position. As is to be expected the veteran seems to play just well
enough to stay around the top and not impact his handicap for the summer season.

Boston's favorite Damn Yankee took third place with a one under par 71. Mr.
Skelly liken his play today to the baked beans at a democratic picnic..... wet
and windy. Skelly with the show finish is now third on the money list and
showing signs of a title run as predicted before the season.

March 8, 2003 Cumming Ga.

Insurance fraud Strikes SoB's, Attorney assist in the process!

FEMA, was not aware of the natural disaster that struck the Sob's Tour on this
Saturday. State Farm's own Steve Sumners posted a net 67 to take first place by
four strokes. In hiding from his duties at UGA, the part time Sob, must have
needed money for Western Union as he beat the hell out of the field. Steve with
his ten handicap (figured by the actuary at State Farm.... guaranteed return)
made it look easy in walking to first place. Easier in fact than the applied
principals and strategy of basketball.

If an Insurance salesperson isn't bad enough, then bring in a lawyer to take the
rest. Introducing Chuck Pinkard in second place with a legitimate score of one
under. In truth this was honest golf as Chuck plays scratch, thus deserves his
place finish. A strong four birdies supported the efforts of Polo's best golfer
on and off the course.

Third place was shared by two of the Tours premiere SoB"s, Misters McCartney and
Upchurch. Posting net 73's these Tour players showed the little talent of the
SoB's regulars. These two also are believed to be the definition of
"Ignoranus"...... People who are sometimes stupid, and an asshole.

March 1, 2003 Cumming Ga.

Father Time passes by Youngest SoB!

Bill Jordon in a play off with Ricky McCartney proved himself to be the biggest
SoB on this day. Both Tour members proved this is a game for young and old
alike. The net 71 after eighteen holes announced the return of Jordon to the
Tour in good health. Going home with the sixteen twenty's paved the road to
returning every Saturday with his wife as this is the most money he has ever
come home with drunk.

Rick McCartney had it all going his way on this day until he tried to walk on
water at number fifteen. The Tour's lefty was playing well until he hit two
balls in the lake. However with determination Little Ricky regrouped ( got three
beers) and limped home with his one under par 71.
Proving once again the old saying "Snatching defeat out of the mouth of
Victory".

The Mayor of Polo took third place with 73. Using a strong short game his Honor
posted a birdie and a greenie on his way to the cashiers window for the first
time this year. Interviewing the Mayor was a bit unnerving however, as he was
focused upon his upcoming re-election bid. Mr. Antle kept muttering " A baby in
every pot" and " A chicken in every garage".

Commissioner's Olson and Upchurch returned to the winning list with a forth
place finishes. These two scored five over which is about the same as the
numbers they post on the breathalyzer. Unavailable for comments ( must be
bribed) this reporter did note their training skills have not diminished from
years past, as each continues to blaming the other for another round.